While shuffling through my day at home, I realized that my emotional baggage is weighing me down. There is so much to life that I can find joy in. There are things that make me happy and fulfilled. Yes, wanting a child is something that is overwhelming at the moment. But ever since I have felt that loss, I am obsessed with it. I see a child/pregnant woman and I am filled with overwhelming sadness or psychotic anger. While I believe in the mantra "I am not mad at them, but just sad for myself", I also think that on some level anyone who thinks that is kidding themselves. We are mad that they have what we want. We are jealous.
I am tired of being that woman. I have had my time to wallow. I have been is a perpetual state of misery for months now. I need more than anything to remember that for everything there is a season. I may be in a winter, but soon the spring will come.
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